Forget about the predictions that Brad and Jen will hook up again in 2010. Forget the guy who “sees” that Madonna will have a sex-change operation in the coming year. And definitely forget the Russian who says the U.S. will fall apart in late June or early July.

Forget the psychics and seers. Forget the phonies and fantasists.

Well, maybe don’t forget the Russian: Igor Panarin is actually a respected professor in Moscow, a former KGB analyst and he’s been predicting for a decade that the U.S. will collapse morally and economically — probably leading to civil war — in the summer of 2010.

There is much consternation and gnashing of teeth throughout the land became Prime Minister Stephen Harper has stacked the Senate of Canada with five new appointees who will give the Conservatives a majority in the Upper House.

Of course it’s wrong.

First, because Harper and the old Reform wing of the Conservatives have campaigned for years for an elected — not appointed — Senate.

Second, it’s wrong because the hypocritical Liberals are attacking Harper for doing what every Liberal prime minister of Canada did throughout the 20th Century. Jean Chretien was the most blatant and cynical when it came to loading the Senate with political toadies.

Who will be the next Governor-General of Canada?

 

The only person guaranteed to NOT get the job is the current GG — fabulous Michaelle Jean.

Why, you ask? Because Madame Jean made the mistake of getting a little too big for her britches a couple of months ago and declaring herself the “head of state” of Canada.

 

The Prime Minister’s Office promptly corrected her — Elizabeth Rex over in Buckingham Palace is Queen of Canada and Head of State. The GG is simply the Queen’s representative here. It’s a little like being Tiger Woods’ caddy (of course we’ll talk more about Tiger — but not right now).

 

Merveilleux Michaelle finally backed down — but not before head-butting with Stephen Harper over the ego issue a couple of times.

 

So Madame Jean is out (unfortunately) when her five-year term — has it been that long? — is up next September.

 

So if The Hottest Governor-General in Canada’s History (trademark) is out, who’s in?

 

It’s hard to believe the Tiger Woods soap opera has only been unfolding for a couple of weeks.

Can anyone even remember the time when Tiger’s public persona was squeaky clean and he was just known for being the world’s best golfer and the first billionaire athlete?

Pretty soon he’ll probably be best known as the ex-husband of the world’s richest former trophy wife.

Tiger’s alimony settlement will almost certainly outdo the current record holder, his pal Michael Jordan. They can compare notes while dropping $10,000 bets in Vegas — their usual pastime together.

The latest count on Tiger’s extramarital affairs seems to be somewhere between eight and 10 — but who’s keeping track, right? Tiger certainly wasn’t.

Perhaps the weirdest liaison (in a creepy, what-was-this-guy-thinking way) actually took place before his 2004 marriage to Swedish model and au pair Elin Nordegren.

Porn starlet Holly Sampson, 36, revealed in an online interview last May that she was part of the entertainment at Tiger’s bachelor party in Las Vegas.

The video of the interview is all over the web, so you can find it easily enough. The big surprise is that it has only become widely known in the past week, although it’s been out there for more than six months.

(Speaking of all over the web, there are even clips on YouTube and elsewhere of Tiger farting loudly and then yukking it up with his caddy during the 2009 Buick Open in August.)

Here’s what Sampson had to say when she and another pornster appeared on the raunch website NaughtyAmerica.com on May 26, 2009:

 

“I f@cked Tiger Woods … Me and my girlfriends did a bachelor party for Tiger and it was amazing.

“A friend of mine, Brent Bolthouse, he runs a lot of nightclubs, he used to be a friend of mine and he was good friends with one of Tiger Woods' assistants.

“So me and my girlfriends, we did a bachelor party for Tiger and, uh, it was amazing. And then he picked me to go into the room and have some whatever. I have to say he was really good. Both him and Kevin (Costner, according to an earlier Sampson claim) were like... I've got juice ... I think it’s pretty amazing.

“He’s (Woods) like the whitest black boy you’ve ever met. His teeth are perfect and he’s a perfect gentleman. He’s beautiful. Beautiful everything. Just beautiful.”